Black & Successful 101
Everybody tells us how to become successful, but nobody tells us how to BE successful.
We’ve all had a moment or more when a dream came true in the course of our lives. Human beings are dynamic and progressive to the point where this dream constantly changes based on a multitude of reasons. Age, career changes, inspiration, exposure, nostalgia, travel, networking, connections …… even minor chemical changes in the brain can change the entire spectrum of our desirability for different things.
But one thing we can all agree on is the myriad of emotions and feelings we all experience when any of these goals or dreams come to fruition; especially for a race that has to fight against all odds for it.
At first, there’s a shock. Deep, layered, unwavering shock. Being in this zone is unfamiliar, strange, and seemingly daring. Here YOU are, surrounded by boxes of packed/unpacked belongings, in a new apartment, office, country, or even family. You just moved to the neighborhood you always wanted, got the job you worked so hard for, landed the promotion you waited on forever, or even got married to the love of your life after endless challenges. If you think too much about it, it may seem like grief because you are stuck between the familiar and the unknown.
The world you always lived in seems a lifetime away and it feels like you just got catapulted into this new dimension where you’re surrounded by aliens and phenomena you can’t describe because you dared to believe blindly. Everything you were told you couldn’t do, you achieved. Every door you were told you couldn’t walk through, you slammed down, and that persistent feeling of self-doubt is now writhing uncomfortably under your feet. Academic credentials that were a fantasy in your family lineage are now in frames about to go up on your walls loud and proud. Every meal you missed, every dime you saved, every mile you walked, every night you cried yourself to sleep, every single occasion you were overlooked but persisted …. it’s all come together into this great big moment …. where the dream is a living, breathing thing, co-existing in the same time-space reality with you.
The perfectionist, the expert, the natural genius, the soloist, the super person …. we all go through moments where we feel like we shouldn’t be in this successful space for one reason or another.
To be black and successful …. means to take up that space. To wade through the initial shock and to deny the Imposter Syndrome the power to be long-suffering. No one gets anywhere by doing nothing, so even though you don’t see it …you succeed and here, you are. The systems built against you failed, and the negativity thrown at you didn’t stick; after all dirty water too, makes plants grow. We often say we are our ancestors’ wildest dream … and believe me …. we are. While they were not allowed to learn how to read … you graduated magna cum laude. Where their backs were turned towards the scorching sun without compensation … you can decorate your office to fit your aesthetic and comfort. Where families were torn apart at an owner’s or auctioneer’s whim, never to see each other again … you bought the symbolic white picket fence. And now standing here, with your dreams or goals coming working out for you …. No matter how seemingly big or small …. that is what it means to be black and successful.
If you can get through this initial human reaction to success …. you will realize that the better it gets, the better it gets. That’s how you go from an entry-level position to the executive level.
Take up space! It’s not on you, it’s IN you.